


Let You Love Me

by Burgie



Category: Star Stable Online
Genre: Fluff, M/M, or does this qualify as fluffangst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-02
Updated: 2018-11-02
Packaged: 2019-08-16 18:49:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,096
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16500797
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Burgie/pseuds/Burgie
Summary: Daine struggles with the depth of his feelings for Ydris. Daine belongs to HellishSam.





	Let You Love Me

**Author's Note:**

  * For [HellishSam](https://archiveofourown.org/users/HellishSam/gifts).



Daine had to stop going there. He knew that. And yet, every time he let his mind wander, every time the anxiety got too much, he found his mind going back to Nilmer's Highland. To the circus tent. To the wagon. To the damn Pandorian there, the one who'd stolen his heart, the one who he cared for far too much and he didn't know why.

"Maybe I need an intervention," said Daine as he lay in the grass on South Hoof. His beloved companion, Cloud, grazed nearby, flicking his ears in the direction of his rider's voice.

And yeah, maybe an intervention would be good. He could sit down with his friends, mostly Willow, and they could all remind him of how bad Ydris was for him, how stupid he was to care so deeply for the Pandorian. It was the phoenix thing, he knew. The fact that Ydris had been so nice about his eyes, his fangs and claws (though he was a little too eager about those last things, just quietly). For the first time, Daine had felt special. And he still felt special, just...

Ydris was a flirt. A massive fucking flirt. And sometimes, when he was feeling particularly down, Daine wondered if things would have been different if it was Tyler instead. If Tyler was the one who'd called him special, who'd called him a phoenix, who'd-

But no. Daine had to stop those thoughts before they could send him down the path of endless 'what if's. Tyler was dead, and Ydris was his new... infatuation, he guessed he could call it. But kissing him hadn't gotten Ydris out of Daine's system. It had only made things worse. So much worse. And now, he was all that Daine seemed to be able to think about. Even after being turned into a golden horse, even after Ydris had outright said that he was going to destroy the world, even after the tether incident.

"Yep, I'm screwed," said Daine. He sat up, Cloud raising his head to look at his rider. He pricked his ears. Were they going for a ride now?

For most people, hearing stories from friends about working themselves to exhaustion would have served as a warning. Daine, however, wasn't exactly known for making the wisest decisions. Especially when he was emotional, which he was right now thanks to his swirling thoughts about Ydris. How ironic that one of the cures for his anxiety was also one of the biggest causes of it. And it wasn't even Ydris' fault. Well, it was. Sort of. Flirtatious ass.

Daine spent the rest of the day working around Jorvik, starting at New Hillcrest since it was closest to where he'd been at the far end of South Hoof. Nathalie couldn't really afford to pay him well, but there was always so much work to do there. Daine was just glad for the distraction, no matter how many stalls he had to muck.

For once, though, Daine avoided the Silverglade area entirely. He didn't even go by Wolf Hall Inn (not that there was anything to do there), it was just too much of a temptation when he saw that purple tent. It made his heart beat faster, every fibre of his being wanting to cross that bridge and be with the man he loved.

The Harvest Counties always had a lot of work to do, though. And Valedale. Even Firgrove and Dundull (the rangers, especially, were grateful for Daine's help, mostly the muscle). Daine spent most of the day moving trees in Mistfall, helping to clear trails while Cloud made many new friends. Cloud was almost as popular as Daine, though not for quite the same reasons. Daine still wasn't quite sure why he had to keep cleaning phone numbers out of his saddlebags, though. What did everyone see in him? Maybe they liked the whole 'depressed emo idiot' thing he had going on.

Daine returned home to South Hoof feeling exhausted, every muscle in his body aching. Fatigue sapped his strength, too, so that he was glad for Cloud's ability to find his own way home. He didn't need to steer or even tell Cloud how fast to go, they just... went. It was a struggle just to stay awake. But not because he was depressed, which was a relief. He was just dead tired.

"Wish I had a magic man to open the door for me," Daine muttered when he had to dismount to open his stable doors. He closed them again behind Cloud before taking off Cloud's tack and stumbling with it over to the tack room. That done, Daine stumbled back over to Cloud and opened his stall door, admitting his horse entrance.

A few of Daine's other horses looked at him in concern, but Cloud lowered his head to his rider, his ears pointed towards Daine.

"I'm fine, Cloud," said Daine, yawning. "Go on, you can rest in your stall. I'll go home and go to bed." Cloud nickered in concern, blinking his huge, expressive eyes.

Somehow, Daine was pretty sure that Cloud tried to catch him with a wing as Daine collapsed into the hay at the bottom of Cloud's stall. But then his horse lowered his head, snuffling around the hay around Daine's head.

"I'm just... gonna sleep right here," said Daine. "Night."

He really didn't want his last thought before sleep to be of Ydris but, well, Daine's traitorous mind sure went there. Wondered how nice it would be to be sleeping next to Ydris instead of in this hay. No matter how nice it was to be sleeping beside his most beloved companion.

He dreamed of Ydris. Of pinkish-purple sky, floating islands, mushrooms the size of trees dropping spores that burned, flying Manta rays larger than any Daine had ever seen (admittedly, only on TV or in movies), a floating pink crystal that tore at his heart and soul, dark woods, a blonde-haired boy, and then purple eyes. Gloved hands cradling him like he was precious. A mouth that tasted of strawberries, or maybe that was just cotton candy. A purple circus tent that held more questions than answers. And Ydris, right there in the middle of it all.

It wasn't the stall in his stable that Daine awoke in. There was still hay in his hair, and he still stank, but he wasn't surrounded by the smell of horses. Instead, it was incense. Magic. The smell of cinnamon and sugar and the strange cologne that he'd only ever smelled here. Daine almost didn't dare to open his eyes, but the bed under his side answered the question. And when he moved his arm, he felt the presence of another body in front of him.

Curiosity got the better of him and Daine opened his eyes. His breath hitched in his throat at the sight of Ydris there, lying beside him. He looked peaceful when he was asleep. Daine's fingers itched to draw, to capture those perfect cheekbones and the gentle rise and fall of Ydris' chest on paper. But he'd left his sketchbooks at home, locked, as ever, in the safe beneath his bed with the rest of his art supplies. But that was fine. Ydris was a work of art to look at anyway, Daine sometimes wondered if he was capable of capturing that beauty with his artistic skill.

As Daine watched Ydris sleep, though, he felt his chest getting tight. Tears stung his eyes, and it was a struggle to keep his face straight. Not that Ydris was awake to see it anyway, but all it would take was for him to open his eyes. And Daine really, really didn't want to break down in front of him again. Ydris didn't deserve to see that first thing in the morning, to see those sunset eyes.

Instead, Daine gave a muttered curse and buried his head in Ydris' chest, wrapping his arms around him. Here, the scent of cotton candy was strongest, as though Ydris was, at his heart, made of cotton candy. Not that Daine would ever say that to anyone, because god, how sappy. But he loved it, inhaling the sweet scent until it was all he could smell.

Daine's hands had been clutching the back of Ydris' shirt, but now, they relaxed as the scent of cotton candy wreathed around him. He didn't pull away, but he did relax. A purr rumbled from his throat, something that he never admitted to doing. It was just sometimes when he was especially happy. Like now, when all he could smell was Ydris and tears of happiness rolled down his cheeks. Because Ydris did love him, he really did. Even after everything, after the golden horse and the Cosmic Clock and the tether, after Ydris had revealed himself to be a 'villain', after the jealousy...

One thing that Daine was almost certain of was that Ydris didn't take anyone else into his bed like this. Gently picking them up from the hay in which they'd fallen asleep and transporting them seamlessly and easily to his bed in his wagon. And it must have done something, too, because the sun hadn't even been setting when Daine had returned to his stable yesterday with Cloud. But now, that was morning sun shining in through the purple curtains covering the window above Ydris' bed.

Maybe Ydris did love him after all. Maybe Daine wasn't just falling for someone who was only going to hurt him. Maybe this time, it would be okay. Hell, nobody had managed to make him purr this much before. Never made him get this lump in his throat, this feeling in his chest, this fluttering in his stomach.

Daine couldn't exactly bring himself to say the words, too afraid of what had happened last time he'd loved someone this much. He just couldn't forget that body in the woods, the last sight he'd seen of Tyler alive. Ydris wasn't like that, he kept telling himself. He wouldn't lose him, Ydris wouldn't die. But... there was more than one way to lose someone.

The tears came harder as Ydris' hand began stroking down Daine's back, over his stinking t-shirt that he'd fallen asleep in. As he felt the gentle rise and fall of Ydris' chest beneath his head. He felt filled up with love, so much that it hurt. But hell, he liked it.

Daine half-expected Ydris to say something. About how he smelled, how his tears were surely soaking through Ydris' shirt, how he was purring so much that it was vibrating through Ydris' chest (which it probably was). But he didn't. Not even a jibe about 'just rolling his r's'. And part of Daine was glad for that.

But Ydris only held Daine close to him, his hand either smoothing over Daine's hair or stroking down his back. Daine felt Ydris pluck out a few bits of hay, which he didn't mind. He needed a shower anyway. But he couldn't quite bring himself to leave Ydris' side. This was like the morning of that night all over again, when he'd fallen asleep crying and then cried again upon waking. But for a good reason, because Ydris had been there and then still been there. Only this time, there hadn't been any grand declarations or reveals in the middle of the night. Not even any sex, a rarity in their relationship. It had just been Ydris finding his lover passed out in his stable and then teleporting him here. Daine hoped that Cloud hadn't been startled by his sudden disappearance. But maybe he was outside.

Daine could find out later, though. Right now, he just wanted to lie here with Ydris and cry and purr into his chest. As sappy as that might seem. He'd just... never spent the whole night with Ydris before. Woken up beside him, yes, but not... not like this. And god, he wanted more of this, he wanted to wake up like this every morning. With Ydris beside him, or in his lover's arms. Happy. Content. Loved. So why the hell was he hesitating? Why couldn't he just tell Ydris that he loved him?

Daine honestly didn't know. All he knew was that he really enjoyed this. A hell of a lot more than he'd ever expected. And he'd do anything to keep this. Even... even admit to himself that he loved Ydris more than he'd ever loved anyone or anything else. So much that it scared the hell out of him. But he couldn't stop.


End file.
